Usually when someone asks, “How are you?” I respond instinctively with an, “I’m fine, thank you.” The problem is, fine isn’t a feeling. At best, it’s a nondescript, neutral state of existence. And “I’m good” isn’t much better.
These responses are the consequence of years of mindless reactions to a soul-searching question that people colloquially use as a greeting. But when we take the time to sit with it, the question is quite powerful. “How are you?” Or, asked differently, “What does it feel to be you right now?” The first step to answering this question is finding the right vocabulary.
Take a look at the following words. Pause for a moment with each — what does that feeling really feel like?
Proud
Restless
Rested
Scared
Content
Exhausted
Helpless
Clear-headed
Insecure
Anxious
Radiant
Relaxed
… the list goes on.
“Fine” is not on the list.
Neither is “good.”
So, how are you?
- Adapted from a blog post by Dave Radparvar, Co-Founder, Holstee
